"Melodic Melanie"

I know your life's been a winding road, ups and downs, highs and lows.
You just can't seem to crawl your way out....Sometimes you just have to believe and leave behind the doubt. At times you feel alone like no one understands---now change your I can'ts to I can. You are never alone...God will never forsake you, and like God I will see you through.

It's ok to cry, for it free's the pain and releases a sigh---Of relief to set your soul free.
If you stick with me Iwill help you see the light is there waiting to shine upon you to remind you that with God there's nothing you can't do.

To my sweet and dear friend Melanie Jeffrey A.K.A @Levyronni77

my love I leave with you,
Eternally,
Tina

"Personality Disorders"

Have you ever been friends with someone that you just didnt quite understand? Have you been around someone whose personality was like that of a 4-way street? It's like one minute their this way and the next minute their acting another way. These kinds of people make it hard to hold a relationship with them. This behavior I believe is a Personality Disorder that often develops from early childhood trauma. Maybe it was from lack of companionship or a feeling of abandonment and or neglect. There are many types of Personality Disorders. One of which is the most common is "Narcissism". Narcissistic behavior is the most extreme amongst other Personality or mental disorders. For example, an Extreme Narcissicist falls in love with themselves and put themselves above others. Their mentality is they're not like anyone else. Theyre always right, you're wrong. Narcisistics will use a person(s) for what they can get from them at that time or what will benefit them at that particular moment. As soon as they have gotten what they want from you, they will drop you like a hot potato and act as if they never knew you. If you tell a Narcissistic they have wronged you or hurt your feelings prepare to have a non-reaction of them because they are unable to empathize with the needs and emotions of others. If you try to reach out to such a person and offer help, they will exclude you from their life, ignore you or disregard you altogether. Their only concern is of themselves. Narcisistics are unable to hold permanant, long-term relationships because of their destructive and mysterious behavior. If you have nothing to offer or if you dont constantly feed their ego, they label you as "Unsafe" and want nothing else to do with you. Narcisissm is a personality and mental disorder that started from childhood and they over time will develop a Fake persona of who they would like to be seen as rather than it be known who they really are. They will avoid personal questions and side-track you to make you forget the question you asked. They have low self-esteem, are insecure, weak and vulnerable, but will often display a "Tough Guy" attitude as a "Defense Mechanism" to keep from getting hurt again. Trauma in early childhood development causes alot of this behavior in a Narcissistic. They do not like criticism because it puts them in a Childlike mode of feeling unworthy or unaccepted and will disband you from their life. This behavior often causes heartache and pain for those close to them but they are unable to see that because their brains are not positioned to grasp their affect on the people around them. They have a fear of being hurt so they guard their hearts and keep most people who try to get close to them away. They have a huge issue with trusting others and would rather run and avoid their problems than face them. Why? Because it takes them back to the very thing they are running away from. I, to have dealt with a Narcissistic and I was put through pure hell because I didnt have an understanding at that time of what the problem was with that person till I started studying up on personality disorders and discovered by dealing with this person that they had this personality disorder. Its darn near impossible to befriend such a person of this stature and wish anyone luck out there who are or yet to experience the wrath of a narcissistic. Beware! They can be dangerous to your health. I have APD (Avoidant Personality Disorder) It's a person who would rather be alone than amongst a crowd. Someone who also, like the Narcissistic doesnt like or allow too many people to get too close to them. Maybe because of what I endured during my early childhood. I find solice in myself and I am my own best friend. I am a trustworthy, honest, caring, easy to talk to and a funny person, but when it comes down to it I'd rather be alone. It's easier that way and I'm comfortable with it. As soon as someone, mainly men start to get too close I freeze up and push them away. This comes from the abuse I saw men do to women so many times times during my childhood and I kind of view men as "Unsafe" to me. In time I will seek therapy for this part of me because it has posed many problems in my life. I hope I have shined some light on those in the dark about people with Personality Disorders. I hope I have educated some of you out there.

To my lovers,
Always,
Tina

'Wounded Woman"

Here I am again with yet another blog entry on a topic that so aggressively concerns me. ....Woman who have been sexually, mentally and physically abused. Some women of this stature are known for having stand offish or promiscuous behavior. In many cases, these sorts of females feel unworthy and somehow feel they dont deserve "The Best" from a guy. Women sometimes feel that because they had to endure this type of abuse from a man that somehow they "Deserved it" and it must have been something they did wrong to deserve it. Let me set something straight ladies; nothing you could ever do or say that you deserve to be abused in any way, shape or form. No woman deserves to be beaten. never feed into the lies your mind is telling you that you deserved it or you're unworthy. You are a beautiful queen and deserve to be happy and treated with the upmost respect. Another fine example, Women who have been sexually abused or taken advantage of somehow adopt the mentality that dont deserve a good guy or anything good of that matter and develop low self esteem and a low level of confidence sometimes acting out sexually if you catch my drift. But ladies if you don't love and respect yourselves, How can you possibly think a man would? You attract what you give off to them. If you're "Easy", then rest assure a guy will attract that and expect to get in, get off and move on from you. That's not wise to just give your body away to any man you meet. It's your life to live, but I am terribly concerned for my sisters out there with this type of behavior. No one can help you but yourselves. A person can offer all the help in the world to you or talk their necks off trying but unless you want the help theyre just blowing out hot air and wasting precious time that could be well spent on other things. I have recently learned from this type of experience that I cant make someone hear me out and I cant make someone want my help. I can't push myself on anyone. It isnt fair to the other individual. Sisters, stand strong and believe more in yourselves. Know that you are worthy of true love, honor and respect. Know that you are somebody special and If anyone tells you differently then you know these are people that need to be eliminated from your life. You need positive people in your life that will uplift you, not bring you down. Stop excepting abuse from these men who don't even deserve you in the first place. Ladies, dry your eyes, hold your head up, be strong and take control of your lives. There's a whole new world out there for you to explore. It's all up to you. I love you all.

Your sister in Christ,
My love I leave with you,

Tina La Rosa

" A second once in a lifetime"

Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson & Cheryl Burke

Mona Lisa & Ceasar

We live in a world where there is no love anymore. In relationships we lack communication which is the core of many marriages and relationships thrown away at the first sign of trouble. Some relationships have no hope and are not meant for permanant purposes. But has it ever occurred to you that all some relationships need is a little tender-loving conversation? You'd be surprised at what you can accomplish and learn simply by communicating. Communicating helps to understand what is going on in the other persons mind and helps to build a better understanding and respect for one another. Some relationships deserve second chances. I know, I know that second chances don't always work out unless both parties come to realize and make a "Solid" decision" to make the neccesary changes needed to build a better and trusting union. You can't go into a relationship a second time around expecting things to change if you haven't first changed the old habits that caused a rift in the relationship to began with. Everything in life is about the choices we make. Life is one big decision we place on ourselves. Anything in this lifetime can get accomplished simply by making a "Decision" to change what needs to be changed and accept what we can not change. What I meant by some relationships deserve second chances is that some are faced with challenges in the beginning that hinders the relationship to grow. Sometimes its a fear we carry that bombards our mind when going into a new union. Some fears such as not feeling good enough for that person or low self-esteem or fear of infidelity or maybe even some childhood trauma that damaged your trust in a man/woman. It could be a number of things. But if there is someone out there you were once involved with that you cared so very much for but obligations and personal hang-ups tore you apart, then I think that makes you a candidate for "A second once in a lifetime". what you once had before was something special and rare and you felt something you never quite felt for anyone before. Remember, you could be in love a million times but at some point in your life you will meet someone who will make you feel special in a way no other person has ever made you feel. Maybe that union was only for a season or maybe for a lifetime. But you wouldn't know it if you didn't give it a chance. I'm speaking to some lovers out there and I hope you get what I'm trying to say. Don't let your fears keep the walls around your heart from experiencing "True Love." Don't ever find yourself looking back and wondering. That is torture in itself and you deserve true happiness. Let's try working on saving love instead of taking it for granted and throwing it all away. Love is a powerful thing and even more powerful when we share it and embrace it. Sometimes relationships end so abruptly that it leaves behind the residue of what was and sometimes takes talking face to face to resolve and move forward. Are you that someone caught in a situation like this? A wise little lady once quoted in a book of hers that she would always have a "Soft Spot" in her heart for a lover she was once involved with and that she knows he feels the same way about her. Hmmm, things have changed I know, but sounds to me that there is still a substantial amount of love and respect she still carries for this individual. Maybe, there is "A second once in a lifetime" in the near future for them. What do you think of that Mona Lisa? *Wink*

from the truest depths of my heart,

my love I leave you,

Tina La Rosa

"Rest Lil Angel" To: Caylee

Rest lil' angel you don't have to suffer anymore, for now you lay in peace with the one we adore. How could a monster kill and throw you away? Oh, precious angel they will have their day...Where pain & suffering shall paralyze their every step, not one single tear was shed, not even a wept.

Rest lil' angel, you are where you need to be....No one could ever hurt or harm you again...Heaven is where your new life began. Angels don't belong in the devil's earth, so God called you home 2 yrs after your birth. Justice wasn't served for you, but they will have their time. Remember God said, "Vengeance is mine." Rest lil' angel.


Dedicated to Caylee Anthony(Lil' angel of God)


Poem written by : Tina La Rosa

"Hidden Pain"

You hide behind a smile when deep down theres a fragile child.. Haunted by the trauma of years gone by, my, oh, my, have you cried your last cry?

You'd rather hide your pain or push those who care away ,but this will not solve your problems---not even for a day. For you, it's safer to not reach out, for your fears keep you in constant doubt.

You're in your comfort zone afraid to entrust anyone with your heart, your life will never change if you dont step out of the dark.

You've been scarred and scorned from the outside in, you must step out in faith and that's where your new life begins.

There's an even brighter future ahead, aside from your life now, release your heart and set it free, say good-bye to your past and let it be.

written by: Tina La Rosa

"Unworthiness"

This is a topic I think alot of us struggle with and that is the feeling of "Unworthiness"....

Many of us struggle with accepting a compliment or simply feel we don't deserve good things in our life. I know for me growing up I had low-self esteem and a low confidence level. I am still struggling with this to this very day. When someone pays me a compliment or say to me "I deserve this" I honestly think I dont deserve those compliments. I often think people are mistaking me for someone else when I'm payed a compliment. But may I add that you were born so that makes you worthy. Worthy to be loved, worthy of good things and worthy of a compliment. God, in his eyes sees us as the most precious creatures he's ever created. Why? Because we are made in his image! This is a reason to rejoice! God finds us special and precious in his sight! In this world we can never please everyone. There will always be criticisim. People are going to talk when you succeed and even when you fail. It's a "NO End" situation. You weren't put on this earth to please anyone but God, the creator and discover what your purpose here on earth is. Whether it's to serve, encourge, dance, sing or charitable work. whatever it is that is put inside of you that makes you happy. Often we struggle with the acceptance from others never satisfied unless someone likes us and if not we feel our world has ended. No, once you are comfortable in your own skin you will always have struggles with acceptance. It's that strong foundation that you have built inside of yourself that will carry you through the hard times in life. When you're confident in yourself not being accepted or being rejected will have no hard affects on you. You must first love and accept yourself for who you are before anyone else can. Live your life and be your best selves. You are worthy God says so!

My love I leave with you,

Love Tina